Okay, this is not a rant on junk food.  I think when people eat Cheez-wiz, they aren’t misguided enough to assume they’re eating healthful real cheese.  When people eat a double fudge brownie, I doubt they’re confusing this with an apple.  And when people eat Cap’n Crunch cereal, there’s no way they’d assume they’re consuming real fruit.  Oh, um, wait a minute, someone did?  Er, well, anyway, you get my point

But seriously… sometimes there’s an absolute nasty & unhealthy food paired with such obnoxiously, blatantly misleading marketing that I can’t help calling a spade a hyrogenated [sic] artificially flavored spade.

First, the marketing that, by all means, should condemn some marketer to eternal dietary hell:

“In 1920, Walter and Cordelia Knott began selling fresh produce, berries, and preserves from a roadside berry stand in Buena Park, California.  Their family business earned a place in history in 1932 when Walter Knott cultivated a lucious new fruit, the boysenberry.  The farm that started it all has also become a family amusement park that delights millions.

The Knott family is pleased to extend their tradition of quality to include premium shortbread cookies.  Richly flavorful, these classic favorites are prepared using popular Knott’s Berry farm fruit fillings.”

Let’s dissect this, shall we?

> In 1920, Walter and Cordelia Knott began selling fresh produce, berries, and preserves from a roadside berry stand in Buena Park, California.
...and boy, would they be horrified to see how their heirs have sold them out!

> ...when Walter Knott cultivated a lucious new fruit, the boysenberry.

...which you’ll find all of likely one-tenth of a gram of in this plasticfood monstrosity.

> ... premium shortbread cookies
... where “premium” means “premium profits for us, utter crap for you.”

> ... Richly flavorful
... from lots of high fructose corn syrup

> ... these classic favorites
... if you call a frankenstein concoction of chemicals “classic.”  Maybe a classic case of deceit.

> ... using popular Knott’s Berry farm fruit fillings.
... oh, wait, we meant popular dental fillings!

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Today we have a guest post!  Hopefully a nice respite from all the political tensions.

The note below was written by Mark Pilloff for distribution on our company’s “for sale” (classifieds) list.  I’ve reproduced it below in its entirety with, of course, Mark’s permission.  Enjoy!

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Free: 100 yards Longs brand Waxed Mint Dental Tape, almost new

Recently my dentist suggested to me that dental tape, thanks to its larger cleaning area, was more effective than ordinary dental floss.  So a few weeks ago, when my previous container of floss ran out, I went to Longs to bring my routine of dental hygiene out of the stone age and incorporate the modern marvel of dental tape.  (Mike Nichols said in a recent interview that if he were making “The Graduate” today, he would update the iconic line to, “I just want to say two words to you.  Just two words.  Dental tape.”  True story.)

Have you bought dental floss / tape lately?  So many choices!  Dozens and dozens of them.  That’s what’s so great about this offer: besides being absolutely free, you have just one choice.  One terrible (but free!) choice.  The same terrible choice that I already made when I stared at the shelves at Longs, thought to myself, “What difference does it make?”, and reached for the most cost effective dental tape option available: 100 yards of Longs brand Waxed Mint Dental Tape.

What I am offering to all of you, absolutely free and with no strings attached, is one almost new container of unquestionably the worst dental floss/tape I’ve ever used.  This dental tape is thick like packing twine, the sort you’d use to bundle up a bale of old newspapers before dropping them off on the curb to be recycled.  To get it to slip between your teeth you’ll have to wiggle it back and forth ten times or more and pull hard enough to cut off the circulation in your fingers.  Each time it finally grinds its way into the slot between your teeth, dropping into place with a stinging snap, you’ll yell to anyone around, or maybe just to your reflection in the mirror, “I hate this @#$% floss.  This is the worst floss ever.  I never should have bought it.”  (Actually, since you’ll be getting this floss complete free of charge, you’ll merely yell, “I hate this @#$% floss.  This is the worst floss ever.”)

Today I completed my third yoga session.  The class is taught by an apparently-quite-skilled (and patient and helpful!) instructor here at the main Google gym, and she’s noted that it’s essentially “Iyengar-flow” style.

I, however, have decided to nickname it D’oh-whoa style.  D’oh: not in a painful sense, but in a OH HAI I HAZ HIDDN MUSSELS kinda way.  And whoa: just absolute wow in watching my classmates.

I guarantee* that the following all-natural AdamSpecial (“CaféKeek” in honor of my now-undoubtedly-horrified French friends) will put a pep in your step, will put the mmmmm in mooove, will take the ache out of awake…

Required…
1) Coffee beans + grinder (ideal) OR not-terribly-fine-ground coffee (okay) OR instant coffee (will do in a pinch; can ignore French press/strainer instructions)
2) Milk (ideally non-fat, optionally low-fat) OR milk substitute that can be heated/drunk hot or warm
3) French press OR extra container + a strainer
4) Teaspoon
5) and - unless you don’t like sweet stuff—one of the following Adam-named add-ins
- “Plain Sweetie”:  Sugar—one to two teaspoons per cup of milk.
- “Chocolate Jesus”:  Pure unsweetened cocoa powder and sugar (one teaspoon each per cup of milk) OR pre-sweetened chocolate syrup / cocoa powder (Nestle Quik does not count!)
- “Cuckoo du mint”:  The Jesus ingredients above + three drops pure mint extract per cup of milk OR Trader Joe’s mint cocoa powder

Instructions for making CaféKeek…
1) Boil milk OR heat milk in microwave (ideally use a microwavable measuring cup or similar item for easy pouring)
2a) Got a French press?  Put in the ground coffee but not other ingredients.
2b) Using a strainer?  Add ground coffee to intermediate container (that you can easily pour from into your drinking cup)
3) Pour hot milk into either French press or intermediate container.  Wait 5 minutes.
4) Pour coffee-soaked hot milk into drinking container (using strainer if you didn’t use a French press)
5) Add optional other ingredients and stir with teaspoon.
6) Enjoy, then come back here and write a comment about how much you loved it and how you’re eternally grateful to me and so on.
7) Repeat, but probably not on the same day.

Strongly recommended in conjuction with CaféKeek…
- Protein—either a handful of nuts or some peanut butter on a cracker, etc.
- Potassium—a banana works great (half of one is fine)
- Exercise—no time for a real workout?  Prefix the incomparable CaféKeek with 18 jumping jacks or 18 seconds of jump-roping or anything else to quickly get your heart pumping.  I’m serious about this… it really helps!

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Okay, now it’s your turn.  What natural foods / practices do you use to help wake you up? (so, yeah, those energy drinks with unpronounceable ingredients don’t qualify here)

*Guaranteed satisfaction, or your pro-rated BLADAM subscription fees reimbursed!

A few years back, I had some free sessions with a personal trainer at my gym, and one of the most useful takeaways was this:
Unless you write stuff down, it’s too easy to “fudge the facts” in your mind.  How much pushups are you doing with good form?  What are you eating each day?  We tend to maximize the former, minimize the latter, and that’s not good.

For starters, he made me write down each day *everything* I ate and drank, along with estimated calories associated with each thing I put in my mouth.  Boy, that was a depressing but enlightening shocker!

Well, I decided to go one better and start my own personal health chart (in Excel), daily noting my progress on several fronts (weight, body fat percentage, pushups, etc.).  Alas, after a few months, that kinda fell by the wayside, so I picked it up again a year later.  And, once again, that only lasted a few months. 

I’m trying yet again, and—now that I have the regular routine of a full-time job—I’m hoping it’ll somehow be easier to keep up the list.  For the very curious, I’ve included below exactly what I’m measuring:

Methodology
I took a bite of the famed whole-wheat Ak-Mak cracker and sips of orange juice in between chocolate nibbles.

Goal
Vital learning in the name of science, with an aim to provide thoughtful, unbiased info to my fellow dark chocolate lovers.

Grand summary
- Villars - Swiss chocolate:  Sharpest (along with Trader Joes)
- Valrhona - French chocolate:  creamest, sweetest, with a noticeable but mild afterbite, fruity
- Guaranda - Equadorian chocolate (strangely labeled “European chocolate”):  smokey
- Trader Joe’s Pound Plus (“TJ”) - Belgian chocolate:  thickest of all, tied for sharpest with Villars, faintly fruity, hardest, least creamy initially

Ice cream… a wonderful pleasure that’s typically appreciated from childhood and on through adulthood.  Soothing and relaxing, ice cream is even better IMHO when presented colorfully and artfully in a nice restaurant, along with good friends and a small heavy spoon.

I've had Kaiser health insurance for about three years now, and I thought I'd share some thoughts for those of you who are deciding amongst health insurance plans... and even those of you on Kaiser looking for a few tips.

I suppose, by this point, I should have learned to be totally cynical and untrusting, even when it comes to my favorite grocery store, Trader Joe's. But every day, I learn new and disappointing things by reading labels a bit more carefully.

For instance, how about "100% Juice"? You'd guess that it's made up of juice, juice, and juice, right? Nope. How about water, reconstituted juices, and "natural flavorings"? What, exactly, are the natural flavorings? Who knows, 'cause this label sure isn't telling.

And while we're talking about juices, when you see a label that trumpets in large type "Blueberry Juice"... does it seem very honest to you that blueberry juice is the third most prominent ingredient, after apple and grape? Truth in labeling would dictate: "Apple 'n' Grape juice, with a splash of blueberry," but, yeah, truth in labeling? Ha!

Here's a great (and scary) quote from the entertaining and thoughtful guy who brought us the movie Super Size Me!:

Well, nothing smells like that food. Nothing tastes like that food. It's its own animal. But here's the thing to always think about, anytime you think about buying those fries? Think about you're washing your car, you reach under the driver's seat, and you pull out a french fry. Who knows how long that thing's been there. But it looks like you bought it yesterday. Why is that? How does that happen?

- Morgan Spurlock, in an interview with Salon.com

Incidentally, after reading Fast Food Nation, I've not been to McD's in nearly four years now. I highly recommend both that book and Spurlock's movie!