They say the meek shall inherit… and I’m hep to the jive!

So, yes, Terry, I did have to go ahead and blog this (it’s one of the damn coolest birthday cards I’ve gotten… thanks!)

[e-card below, via Plaxo’s neato ecard offerings]

I’m in apartment-hunting mode, and have amassed a set of criteria for my search that I thought you might benefit from… and be able to easily add to!

With the new release of Google Docs and Spreadsheets (horrid name, super product), I can now do all sorts of cool stuff!  For instance, I’ve embedded the spreadsheet below for you to read… but I’ve also included links at the bottom for you to:

• EDIT ONLINE: Load up the spreadsheet online in edit mode!  Your changes will be reflected within five minutes on the document AND this page, so please be both thoughtful and nice (I can revert as necessary, of course).
• EDIT OFFLINE: Download the CSV and load it up in Excel or Excel imitator .
• VIEW: ...as PDF, HTML, TXT, and in other formats as well.
• SUBSCRIBE:… view Atom or RSS

Pretty neat, eh?  And now, on with the show!

Stupid disclaimers.  You know ‘em, and you probably either ignore them or laugh at them.  Slightly enhanced samples that are either spoken at 420 words a minute or that take up a bazillion lines of tiny tiny text on the back of ads in news magazines.

• “Warning: Stunt driver on stunt track in stunt car.  Do not drive like this [except in Rome]”
• “Warning: Medication may cause sniffling, itching, numbness in extremities, permanent paralysis, or death. [+ 31415928 more lines that no one bothers to read]
• “Remember, drink responsibly!  [Also, be nice to your mom.  Put up the toilet seat.  Don’t be prejudiced.  Love a geek today.]
• “Results not typical.  Your results may vary. [Let’s face it… 99.9999% of people on this diet don’t lose an ounce.  We just managed to find the one freak who had liposuction after taking our product.]

Completely useless, aren’t they?  Somehow I don’t think we’re gonna hear stuff like this from beer-bongin’ frat boys:
“Hey Sarah, I’m concerned about you!  I mean, Mr. Jose Cuervo insists that we drink responsibly, and I just don’t think you are!  Can I get you an orange juice instead?”
“Whoa, dude!  Didn’t you listen to that ad?  It said DON’T drive like this!  Come on, pull it back to 55 man!”

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And then there’s the seemingly unrelated issue of corporate compensation.
Forbes magazine lists some of the worst (most unproductive) CEOs and notes their compensation, including:
- Richard M Kovacevich, Wells Fargo, $72.04 million
- Edward E Whitacre Jr , AT&T, $49.01 million
and, brace yourself:
- Barry Diller, IAC/InterActiveCorp, $295.14 million (over half a BILLION dollars in the last 5 years, and ranked as one of the 15 most unproductive CEOs in the entire survey)

Which raises some questions:

Don’t get the wrong idea.  Despite having a cold and ironically being hot in an apartment with no airconditioning, I’m not unhappy with my life.  True, I’m a bit cranky again, but I’m not deeply bummed.  Just ornery and snotty.

Today, it was just a little thing that triggered my annoyance:  For perhaps one of the last times, I read yet another asinine tweet on Twitter.  In an effort to not call out a specific (normally nice and sensible) fellow, I’ll slightly obscure it thusly: “Going to the bathroom.”

Going to the bathroom.  We all do it.  We all know we do it.  It’s not particularly exciting—at least typically—and it’s hardly the thing a normal person would announce unless there’s some particular need-to-know (roomies in a one bedroom apartment, little kids asking to be excused from a class, etc.).  But make it Web 2.0 and, wheee, suddenly people believe that they need to share such crap with others… or that others have even a faint interest in reading such banal nonsense.

So, Adam, I imagine you retorting, chill out and just unsubscribe from those people that tweet lamely.  I would, except every once in a while, these same folks refreshingly tweet something interesting or useful… or even a note or question directed specifically @me.

It’s like how your Aunt Frida (hopefully no longer) sends you teeth-gnashingly stupid forwards.  Bill Gates is gonna give you a million bucks.  P&G supports satan worship.

Frida is a good person, a well-meaning lady, but sometimes she just doesn’t THINK before she hits “send.” And, clearly, you don’t want to filter her notes into your junk mail because at least one out of every ten notes she sends is something you really *do* want to read… a happy-birthday wish, a sad revelation about her health, or even just a simple cute “I’m thinking about you .”

Thankfully, nearly all of my friends and relatives have gotten smarter about e-mail etiquette.  When are (normally quite intelligent and thoughtful) people gonna wise up about Twitter?

At risk of being told, “Dude, who the bleep do you think you are to tell us what to do?” I’m going to, well, suggest what I think is optimal Twitter usage.  You sure as heck don’t have to conform to my personal views on Good Twittering, but I’m more likely to read / less likely to unsubscribe from your tweets if you do .

I work in a small office with three other Googlers.  That’s pretty typical around here; I don’t know of a single person that has their own office, though we’re always free to roam to a quieter place with our laptops and ubiquitous wireless access.

It’s also a delightfully multicultural office:
- One Croatian fellow.
- One Chinese guy.
- A Bulgarian guy.
- And me, the boring American.

We often will break up the day with little chats about cultural issues… food, linguistic confusion, traditions, etc.  Today, though, our heads-down work was interrupted when P came in, sat down, and looked a bit concerned.

P:  Something is wrong with my chair.
[silence]
P:  Did someone change it?  Something’s off.
Y: [taking notice] Hmm… my chair’s kind of funny today, too.  Maybe someone took both our chairs?
P:  It’s too low.  This is strange. [pauses, looks out the door of the office, as if to catch the chair thief / chair transmogrifier]
Y:  Mine’s kinda high.  Doesn’t feel right.
Me: [finally paying attention] Um, guys.  Maybe you just got each other’s chair?
[P looks at Y.  Y looks at P.  They swap chairs.]
[contented brief silence]
Y: Ah, mine’s the black one.  That’s right!
P: Yeah, that’s better!
[shaking head]

Today is a bad day.  A particularly consistent bad day.  Not an awful day, mind you, but just bad enough to be laughably annoying.  And this got me to thinking…

Why is it that bad luck seems to come in strings… chains… in groups… whatever?

My example today:
- Had bathroom conflicts with roomie and her guest.
- Left in a hurry, forgot both cell phone and Google security card.
- Shuttle on the way to work was cramped, couldn’t work effectively on laptop.
- Due to bridge being damaged *and* another accident, I was late to work and had to push back a 10am meeting.
- Pulling laptop out of backpack at work, I accidentally broke off the antenna on my broadband wireless card.
- Allergies are acting up.  Blech :(.
- There were no communal coffee mugs left this morning.
- In a rush to grab my coffee-comfort (thank goodness for paper cups!), I spilled coffee grounds on myself.

Okay, so none of that is earth shattering.  My dog didn’t die, my wife didn’t run away with my pickup truck and shotgun, and I didn’t get beer spilled on me (admittedly, not having a dog, a wife, a pickup truck, a shotgun, or an affinity for beer makes this example somewhat inapt, but no matter).  Anyway, it’s still enough even-minorly-bad-stuff in a row (and by noon!) to make one wonder…

In case you're interested in stalking me and/or knowing what my thoughts are on various online presence / networking / bookmarking sites I have tried, here's a (completely unscientific, wholly biased, unabashedly uncomprehensive, and generally of questionable use) list

FYI, I'm findable via my full name on the services below unless noted otherwise.  And sites owned/operated by Google are indicated by [g], as a brief disclaimer/reminder since I work for Google (but not on any of the products or product-types below).

I recently noticed that a fellow Googler posted some thoughtful tips about interviewing at Google, and -- now that I'm a bit more comfortable blogging about Work -- I figured I'd contribute to the conversation a bit by offering my own, unofficial tips.

Note the unofficial part. I work in Search Quality; aside from occasionally being asked to interview candidates (like most Googlers) -- I have nothing to do with our recruiting, recruiters, etc., nor do I pretend to speak for the HR folks. The stuff below is based on my own observations and opinions.

* * *

Application and interview tips

Broadly: be interesting, be humble, demonstrate outstanding competence in your direct area, briefly highlight your well-roundedness (academically, workwise, and personally), and clarify how you are an excellent fit with both the position you're applying for and Google overall. 

Admittedly, with an insane number of applications a year, it is a bit of a numbers game.  Some outstanding people get rejected.  And, though I haven't witnessed this personally, I'm sure some jerks get offers.  Luckily, Google's been overhauling its hiring processes, and I'm optimistic that particularly the percentage of great people getting overlooked (in relation to the number of apps) will decrease.

Some specific tips and notes:

I’ve had it with tipping.  The more traveling I do—for business or pleasure—the more I despise the uncertainty, the uncomfortableness, the need to have petty cash on hand.  When will someone—an influential someone—say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH?!

Tip too little, and you risk imperiling the quality of service you receive in the future from that person… plus you may look like an idiot or a miser in front of friends and business acquaintances.

Tip too much, and you look like a chump… and your wallet is made thinner (sometimes much thinner).  And you feel like a moron for being taken advantage of.  Heck, in some countries, you risk really offending someone!

This is one of the many reasons why I love Europe: you typically round up to the nearest euro when you eat out, and that’s that.  Adding to the coolness… for takeout food and pretty much else, what you see on the billboard or pricetag is what you pay.  15EUR?  You pay 15EUR; taxes, fees, etc., all included.

Now, back to the insanity that we endure in the States… Here’s just a sampling of recommended tips from a recent AAA (Automobile Association of America) article:

Happy Googleversary!

As I was getting ready to board the Google Shuttle home recently, a colleague (who started at Google on the same day I did) poked me and jokingly wished me a "Happy Googleversary!"  Right then it hit me that, yeah, I had been at Google for a full year.  Wow!

Also in the last few weeks, coincidentally I presume, many folks -- particularly fellow alums -- have been e-mailing me to ask about what it's like at Google, how they can get a job there, etc.  I will be e-mailing all of them back (sorry for the delay!), but in the meantime it's prompted me to do something I've been planning to do for a while:  write a few (okay, maybe more than a few) words on how I ended up at Google and what my thoughts are about working there.