5:00pm: Realize that all friends already have plans for New Year's Eve and that I should have made plans, too.

5:30pm: Have eaten only a Powerbar, a handful of nuts, and some alcohol-filled chocolates all day since 5am. Must have burrito.

5:40pm: Arrive at favorite burrito place, find it's closed.

5:50pm: Try second-fav place. No parking.

6:03pm: Decide to try new burrito place. It closed at 6pm.

6:13pm: Find yet another burrito place (I'm determined) and bring it home to enjoy a celebratory meal alone.7:00pm: Feel like going to sleep from jet lag. Eat more alcohol-filled chocolates instead.

7:22pm: Get text message from friend in Europe. He had a great party, hope I did, too. My air purifier shrieks, and decides to take the rest of 2002 off. Probably 2003, too.

8:00pm: Begin working on music composition, "Auld Lang Sign." Have a full four hours to finish and post it before midnight, no expected interruptions.

8:47pm: Friend from Holland calls. He just got back from an awesome New Year's Eve bash. So what am I doing home, he asked? I eat more chocolates.

9:10pm: E-mail: "You have a new bill [from American Express]." I realize I may have to sell my remaining European chocolates to avoid bankruptcy.

9:11pm: E-mail: "Get a bigger c.o.c.k. now!!!!!" Like I have a lot of use for that tonight.

10:05pm: Friend IM's me. He's depressed. He's really, really depressed. His ex-girlfriend told him that she hates him, she doesn't know why she ever got with him, and she wouldn't care if she dies. At least she can't be faulted for beating around the bush. So he absolutely positively knows where he stands, but he can't stop crying. For three months.

11:45pm: My friend, currently on the east coast, decides to cry on his pillow and says goodnight to me. Realizing that I can barely help myself, much less my friend (and so many other folks who seem to depend upon me for advice and comfort), I decide to cry sitting up. I can be more productive that way at least. Besides, I do my best music composing when I cry.

Midnight: Happy New Year... my first anti-social one in more than 5 years. My song isn't finished. I'm tired. My floor is still strewn with the stuff (mostly chocolates) I dumped from my luggage on Tuesday. My bed is serving as a combination desk and clothes hamper. And I realize I have so much yet to say and do.

2003 will be better. It must.

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