Over some coffee this afternoon, I contemplated what I have now coined the “Filled to All Available” or “FTAA” syndrome.  Here’s what it means, basically.  As humans, we tend towards and often feel more comfortable within defined boundaries.  Ambiguities and uncertain limits force us to think, to apply sometimes-risky judgement calls, and in our rushed and often bureaucratic society, that can be stressful.  So, we thrive in a FTAA environment; we fill up our desks, our closets, our schedules to capacity.  If we get larger desks, bigger closets, or unexpected free time, somehow we find a way to fill or fritter away the excess space.  At an all-you-can-eat buffet, we tend to think of “getting our money’s worth” and—you guessed it—filling up rather than lightly sampling.  We eat until we are not just satisfied, but stuffed.  We store junk until our apartments are bursting at the seams.  We live a life that is “Filled to All Available.”

Okay, so maybe this is a total “duh!” observation, but I’ve just come to the stark realization of how insanely expensive it is to own a car in the Bay Area.

And no, I’m not even talking about gas prices.

You see, my current 1992 car is about ready to join that great pile in the sky (or junkyard) known as Car Heaven.  Let’s just say he’s seen better days.  So, environmentally-concerned and smart-researcher guy that I am, I’ve been learning towards buying a Toyota Prius hybrid gas/electric car. 

But ouch!  Let me share some of the approximate costs with you…

As seen by this Australian TV commercial from Super Geek and this admittedly damn funny Fear of Girls video, we learn that…
- Geeks are all guys, and not particularly attractive fellas, either
- Geeks are typically sporting taped-up glasses and completely uncool fashion
- Women AREN’T geeks (and they’re most often confusing/confused AND helpless)

Anne-Marie lifts unidentified but happy dancer at the 2003 San Francisco Lindy Hop Exchange.

From CMO magazine comes this gem, talking about the opportunities and benefits of using “real people” (I presume this means non-professional actors?) in advertising.

The Dove campaign for its firming cream, for example, has proved popular with consumers, but industry experts disagree on whether the ad is effective. “Using the average person won’t sell anything,” says Gerald Celente, director and founder of Trends Research Institute, a consultancy. “The purpose of advertising is to create desire beyond what the product can actually deliver. Do you want to see the floppy Big Mac that the fast food worker actually packages up and hands to you, or the perfect airbrushed billboard version? People are living lives of desperation; they don’t want to be themselves.”

This comment is so sad, I’m not quite sure where to start.  Indeed, there’s undeniably an element of fantasy involved in advertising; this explains Bud’s attention to buxom bikini babes breasts’ rather than beer drinking guys’ bodaciously bursting big bellies.  With that said, however, I resent and reject the implication that:

- All of us consumers are desperate, lonely, pathetic souls… deriving happiness and self-worth only from airbrushed airheads shilling soap.  Speak for yourself, Celente!
- Such condescending and pittying attitudes from overpaid marketing morons will endear consumers to any brand.

I can only hope that consulting firms such as Calente’s AND the advertisers that believe in such self-defeating tripe will themselves end up living lives of career desperation.

Let me bravely be an old fuddy duddy and remind Webmasters of something here:
Everyone… I really believe everyone using the Web knows that blue, underlined text signifies a link.

Unfortunately, here’s what I’m seeing a lot of nowadays:

Ice cream… a wonderful pleasure that’s typically appreciated from childhood and on through adulthood.  Soothing and relaxing, ice cream is even better IMHO when presented colorfully and artfully in a nice restaurant, along with good friends and a small heavy spoon.

Bookmarks.  Favorites.  Most of us save a list of sites we often visit or want to re-find again… either by adding them as a Bookmark in Firefox or as a Favorite in Internet Explorer or even adding the site to our online list residing on del.icio.us or Spurl, and so on.

Also, lots of us have browser toolbars by Yahoo! or Google or other folks.  Unfortunately, there’s a huge disconnect here.

I visit Salon.com regularly.  Same with Google News, SlickDeals, and many other sites.  In Firefox, it’s very easy to assign a shortcut to access any one of my favorite sites; for instance, I can type sd into my Firefox address bar and be immediately whisked to SlickDeals.net.  Even cooler, I can type gns lindy hop and instantly be brought to the search results page of Google News that shows me if there are any recent articles about Lindy Hop.

The downside?  If I want to use any of these shortcuts on other computers (at a friend’s place, at work, when visiting my parents), I have to somehow copy over my Firefox preference files over via a thumbdrive or whatnot.  Or, if they don’t have Firefox, I’m screwed. 

This is where browser toolbars come in—or, rather, where they SHOULD come in.

Yesterday, one of the two fans (I couldn’t tell which) in my high-end PC started making very unpleasant sounds.  It’s like with cars… hard to describe, but you know trouble when you hear it.

I got on all fours, shoved the computer out of the under-desk cabinet, and investigated.  Hmm… both fans were still seemingly rotating at full speed.  I could feel the warm air still being pushed through.  Opened up the case to see if the plastic that attaches the chip fan had gotten loose.  Nope.  Checked for generally dangling cables.  Nope, everything still attached just fine.

I was momentarily baffled and frustrated… until I finally stumbled upon a deliciously useful idea.

Why?  Why not!

And here’s your challenge:  offer captions or other comments that are clever, witty, and not gross or disrespectful, please .  Thanks!